Field of Depth

I recently began taking photography classes. I've always loved taking pictures, and I love it even more when those pictures turn out awesome.

A few years ago, I bought myself a nice DSLR camera. Pretty exciting, right? Then I proceeded to shoot my camera with all the bells and whistles on full 'auto'.  Lame. It was basically a giant, overpriced point and shoot in my incapable hands.

I tried teaching myself about apeture settings and field of depth via the internet... Bad idea. I ended up messing up me camera's settings so badly that even in 'Auto' it wouldn't shoot very nice photos. Ugh.  Serious *head/desk* moment for me.

Fast forward to January 28th and so began my first photography class. It was necessary in order to get my camera back into shooting shape. I'd really messed it up!

I've now got 4 classes under my belt and I'm a lot more comfortable moving dials and pressing buttons, without fearing that I am going to completely mess everything up again. I was sitting in my truck on my lunch break yesterday, and I managed to do some things that I hadn't been able to do before.

I've always wanted to learn how to make the background of a photo blurry, with the subject in focus.
Well, bam!  Learned how.

 

 

Then I wanted to figure out how to shoot past something to focus on something else behind it.
Double bam!  Learned it.

Lastly, my ultimate test was to make the forefront and the background blurred out, while focusing on something in between. Whoop! BAM! Done.
(it's the turn signal thats the in-between... in case that wasn't obvious. Hey, there weren't a lot of things to shoot within the confines of my parked vehicle!)

 

That brown thing is my boot, by the way. And the blue stuff is my jeans. Sometimes I like to relax and I put my foot up on the dash while I read.  Cuz you wanted to know that, right?

I know, they aren't the most impressive photographs. But they give me hope that one day I can take some great photographs on purpose, and not just by sheer luck.

Baby steps.


48 Things You Never Wanted to Know About Me.

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?

That's an excellent question. No, I don't think so.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?

Last night. I'm reading the 3rd book of the Fifty Shades series. I can't tell you what happens without spoiling some of the book for those who haven't read it, but there is a part where she uses the safeword and the surrounding situation actually made me cry.
For those of you who think it's just a kinky sex book, you'd be wrong. Mostly.

3 DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?

Most of the time, yes. I have this odd habit of writing in all caps, so it sometimes looks a bit erratic.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?

Cotto Salami

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

Human, no. Furry, yes.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?

Yes.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?

Yup

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?

Yup

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?

Hell no

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?

That's a tough question, because I LOOOVE cereal. Umm... Fruity Pebbles probably.

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?

Nope

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?

Sometimes.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?

Shit! This is almost as tough as the cereal question! 
Cookies n Cream. No, Cookie Dough. Wait, I really like Mint Chocolate Chip... Hagendaaz Coffee?

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?

My comfort level towards them. Most people fall into a comfort category with me within a few seconds.

15. RED OR PINK?

Yellow.

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?

My body image. I'm fat.

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?

I miss a lot of people. My Grandpa moved across the country so I never see him. I miss him.

18. WHAT IS THE TECHNIQUE THAT YOU NEED TO WORK ON THE MOST?

People skills. I'm sorely lacking in that department.

19. WHAT COLOR SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?

Saddle Brown Boots

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?

Sausage, Egg & Cheese Croissant from BK. Yum

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?

The printer cooling fan.

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?

I'd be one of those awesome crayons that is made up of thousands of bits of various colored crayons.

23. FAVORITE SMELLS?

Lilac Flowers. The way the house smells when I open the windows for the first time in the spring.

24. HOW IMPORTANT ARE YOUR POLITICAL VIEWS TO YOU?

Not very. I disagree with everybody usually, so I stopped listening. It just made me frustrated.

25. MOUNTAIN HIDEAWAY OR BEACH HOUSE?

Mountain Hideaway

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?

Disc Doggin

27. HAIR COLOR?

Blonde.
Oh my natural hair color?  Dirty-dishwater Blonde.

28. EYE COLOR?

Dark Blue

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?

No

30. FAVORITE FOOD?

Casey's Pepperoni Pizza.

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?

Happy Endings.

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?

 Warm Bodies.

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?

Navy Blue

34. SUMMER OR WINTER?

Spring-Fall

35. FAVORITE DESSERT?

Cheesecake. 

36. STRENGTH TRAINING OR CARDIO?

Crossfit, baby. A little bit of everything!

37. COMPUTER OR TELEVISION?

Computer all day long, TV all night long.

38. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?

Fifty Shades of Freed

39. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?

It's black 

40. FAVORITE SOUND?

The sound made right as a new episode of Pit Bulls & Parolees begins

41. FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC?

Country

42. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?

Florida. The pan-handle, not the fun part of FL.

43. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?

No

44. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?

Minneapolis, MN

45. WHERE ARE YOU LIVING NOW?

Blooming Prairie, MN

46. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR HOUSE?

Tan with white trim & stone

47. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR CAR?

Navy Blue

48. DO YOU LIKE ANSWERING 48 QUESTIONS?

Sure!

**Stolen from Furry Bottoms**

I figured that since we've already established that while I was once a pretty consistant blogger, I've obviously lost that talent. I thought I'd answer all of these questions so that you could catch up with me.

I'd say that I'd see you tomorrow. But it will probably be 6 months from now. That seems to be the running tally lately...

Happy Monday, folks!
Emily

Hello. My Name is Emily

I figured I'd need to reintroduce myself because I haven't posted in appx 11 months. You don't even remember who I am!

Eleven months!!  Slacker.

I've tried starting other blogs and it's just not as much fun as Musings has been. Plus, my whole blogging life is right here already and transferring would just be stupid.  I don't want to be stupid.

I still have the same pets, I still live in the same house, I still work at the same job and I'm still obsessed with the same things. So let's just pretend I never went anywhere!  Let's pretend that I didn't disappear for 11 months and we'll all be happy again. 

Ahhhhh... Welcome back, Me. Welcome back.

Aussie Rescue!

More and more Aussies!!!!

Dump A Senior

I think it's Dump-A-Senior-Dog month or something. Its incredibly frustrating.

Merlin & Ginger

This pair is 10 years old and have been together their whole lives. Their owner tried selling them on craigslist. She is going to allow us to take them into rescue, thank God, but what kind of person just up and dumps their bonded pair of seniors? I dont get it.

Pumpkin

Pumpkin is an 11yo blue merle Aussie and she's sitting in a shelter here in this photo. She's obviously confused and probably more than a little terrified. She's in a New Spirit foster home now, so she's safe. But again... 11 years.  Wow.

Ruby

Ruby is an 11yo Australian Shepherd who just landed in rescue. Beautiful gal with wonderful manners.

Are you getting the drift here?  Dogs are for life. It's a committment that shouldnt be broken as easily as opening the car door and driving away, or tying it to a shelter door handle in the middle of the night.  What kind of person are you if that's the way you treat your friend after they give you a decade of loyalty and love?

It makes me sick.

*Note* All four of these seniors are rescued and coming into New Spirit 4 Aussie Rescue immediately!

I'm back...

I think.

I've been away for so long that I almost forgot my log in password. Whoops!

6 months... Wow. Its been 6 months since I wrote a blog entry.

I'm so sorry for abandoning you!  I'll never do it again!  At least not until the next time I do it.

Haha. 

Wait until you see what I have in store for you!

Em

Give Thanks Day 1

Thanksgiving is less than a week away. So every day until Thanksgiving, I'm going to give thanks for something in my life.

Today, it's my family. God blessed me with the most fantastic, loving, loyal family on the planet. We may be a disfunctional mix of steps and halves and full bloods, but we work. My mom died when I was 3 years old. My little sister and I were raised by my dad.  He married my step mom when I was like 8yo, and that brought my two step sisters, and they brought their two half sisters.  We also have a half sister from my dad before he met my real mom.

This leaves me with six amazing sisters. My parents have siblings. Many many siblings. I've got a slew of aunts and uncles and cousins around the country. And they are all amazing too.

Growing up, we had family meals each night. Our Easters and Thankgsgivings and Christmases are a flood of happy, warm memories, with a celebration of good food, laughter, games, church and pretty lights.

My family is something I cherish.

I grew up with friends who didnt have the same childhood I had. Either they were raised by a single parent who didnt try as hard as they could. Their unorganized homes smelling of stale cigarettes and burnt food, with dim, ugly lighting.

I feel so lucky at the family I come from. They are good people who gave me every opportunity to succeed and be happy.  And because of them, I am.  Lord thank you for my family.

Duck, Duck... Goose?

Are you guys sick of reading about dogs? 

Aussies?

I talk about them... quite often.  I won't apologize.  But I will change the subject.

Would you rather talk about....

Duck?

Duck?


Goose?

Llama?

Eeore?


I really loved the Eeore. But he was kind of mean to the other donkeys in the paddock.

I'm not a Llama fan either. But this guy was so beautiful I couldn't help snapping his picture.

And who woulda thunk that birds could photograph so beautifully?

There, you happy?  No dogs!

Oh.  Well except at the top...

I never said I was perfect!

October North

Last month Red and I took a weekend off from our lives and headed north with my sister and her man.
It was during a time when my anxiety was getting the better of me and I needed some time with no responsibilities, no phone, no computer and no schedule. We relaxed in the sun, the boys went fishing while Jenny and I went paddle boating and to see some of the town. Wine and campfires and dogs running around their little gypsy camp type property in one of the most beautiful areas by the MN/WI border.

It was just what I needed.

This photo almost hurts my eyes.  Its the sun coming to set on Poplar Lake.


It was crystal clear.


On another note, does my dog kind of look like a deer? 

Snow

The first snow flakes of the season fell today.

I'm not happy about it.

Pet Dog vs. Performance Dog

There's a difference.  A big, fat, elephant sized difference.

I never gave it much thought until today.  A woman who had met one of our foster dogs over the weekend sent an email stating that we should watch how we train and socialize our dogs.  It was not directed at me, I was merely copied in as the team leader.  But it got me thinking.

I never gave much thought to the fact that I encourage my dogs to bite hard, and I encourage them to bounce of my body, and I encourage them to be a bit psycho.  Granted, I only encourage such behaviors when I ask for them, when we're playing frisbee.

I've had TommyBoy for almost 4 months now. During this time, I have never thought to put a stop to his body bouncing.  Why would I?  Tommy has huge potential to be a disc dog. As a performance dog owner/trainer, thats all I see when I go to work with Tommy. 

But I forget that the people who are going to look at Tommy to adopt may not want a performance dog. They may not want a dog that doesnt hesitate to bounce his entire body off theirs.  Tommy has a trait that I've been struggling to pull out of my own dogs.  I first saw Tony Hoard's Aussie do it.  During a frisbee routine, the dog hops up and bounces off Tony's hip 3x in a row.  I love it, its flashy, and Tommy does it without hesitation.  Man I'd love for Frankie or Kirby to be able to whip this out during a routine!  But what I dont consider as I encourage Tommy's bouncing is the people who may adopt him one day. 

There is a good reason that your average person doesnt really like my dogs.  And it's not the dog's fault. Its just the behaviors that I ask for on a daily basis are not appreciated by your average dog owner.

But I should think about these things.  I have a Lab who is a pet dog.  When he jumps on me, I correct him. When he gets mouthy, I correct him.  I dont even think about it.

Aussie Birthdays!

Today is the given birthday of my 2 Australian Shepherds. 


HAPPY BIRTHDAY FRANKIE!  She's 3 today.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIRBY!  He's 2 today.

Now, since both of my Aussies are rescued dogs, I dont know their actual birthdays.  But here is a brief rundown on how I came to give them each this day as their birthday.


When I first adopted Frankie from the shelter, she was appx 9 months of age. She arrived on July 13th.  Count 3 months out to her 1st birthday.  October 13th.


I adopted Kirby in September of 2009. He was 10 months old when I got him, I fostered him for a number of weeks and ultimately adopted him.  11 months. Count out 1 month to his 1st birthday.  October. Since Frankie's was already the 13th, I decided they would share it.


Because that's just how I roll.

The Blue Tornado

That's the name I've settled on for him.

"Oh, but look how cute and innocent he is!"

Blah blah blah

I'll thank you to never refer to this monster as sweet or cute or innocent, or any of the other adjectives you might use to describe a tiny, half pint kitten.

This dog is none of those things!

He's crazy.

He's a freak.

He's the equivelent Hurricane Carl, in how it continued to torment the country long after it was gone.

Carl flooded my hometown a few weeks ago ya know.

He's... high octane?  High voltage?  High...

You almost have to be high to tolerate him.

"Who, me?"

Shut up, Two Socks.

He torments you with his charm and his looney antics until you want to knock yourself out with a frying pan. 

Then he laughs at you.

Over It

I'm back, for the most part. I've managed to push away most of the debilitating stresses of panic off my shoulders and resume normal life.

But now you know. This is how I react to things that threaten my well being. My only defense machanism is throw a blanket of denial over myself and hide from the world.

How does that even help, anyways?

My life is good. It's great, in fact. I dont have anything to complain about.

These are the things that make me cherish what's really good in my life.  The things that make me happy and the things that truely matter to me.

When I lose control of my emotions, I seek comfort and escape from anything around me.  Movies. Coffee. Friends and family. My dogs. A good book.

October 3rd, I'd messaged to my facebook that I was genuinely happy right at that moment. There was not a single thing wrong with my life. Less than 72 hours later, my life falls apart (in my head it did, at least). 

How does that happen?

I keep trying to go back to October 3rd. The way I felt at that moment.

It's coming back.

We're going out of town this weekend.  A mini vacation.  I'm fortunate to have multiple sisters who live on lakes.  Red and I are taking what is potentially the last truely nice weekend and spending it on the lake.

It won't be quiet though. We're bringing all of the dogs with.  All five dogs. Including the blue psycho.  Blue tornado?  Blue hurricane?  Two Socks? 

TommyBoy. 

Total we will have 7 dogs for the weekend. 

Talk about stressors.

Comfort

I needed to blog today. Blogging, and viewing the blogs written by my fellow followed bloggers, is a source of comfort for me.

Fellow followed bloggers?  Yeah.

I'm the type of person who is weirded out, wigged out, freaked out by the most random things. When it comes to my health, it get freaked out when something goes wrong.

For instance, Wednesday afternoon at lunch time, I broke a tooth. 

I broke.  A tooth.

I was chewing my sandwich and my tooth just broke off. 

My first reaction was panic, quickly followed by denial.  This did not just happen!  It's a dream!  Wake up!  But alas, it was not a dream. A hunk of one of my molars is gone. Well not gone. Its probably still in my truck somewhere after I dropped it when my hands went numb.

The rest of the afternoon was spent in a fuzzy, nauseating mood.

Thursday morning, I went to the dentist, where I was given a hoard of good and bad news. The good news is, they can probably fix it.  The bad news?  The cost to fix my mouth will run me around $7000, on the high side.  If they dont have to do a root canal on my broken tooth, then it will be more like $5500. Ish.

I left the dentist office and before I even reached my truck to drive to work, I burst into tears. The panic of knowing that I had 6 hours worth of dental work ahead of me. (The dentist is one of my greatest fears. I'd rather fly on a plane than go to the dentist. Those of you who know me will understand the power of that statement.)  The fear of knowing that I don't have $7000 sitting in the bank to spend on my teeth.  Then once those feelings had been dampened down, the sheer shame of feeling like I was going to disappoint Red. We have so many dreams and goals together.  $7000 would surely shatter them all.

I was only able to make it through about 3.5 hours of work yesterday.  I was so worked up over the entire thing that I hadnt eaten since my tooth had broken, which was over 24 hours. I finally went home and took a nap. Then Red came home and we talked about it. And he assured me that none of the things that we are planning for are more important than getting myself healthy.  He's so amazing.

Today I feel okay. There is a thick, sickening layer of stress floating in my gut currently. I cant seem to push past it.  I'm waiting for a phone call back from the dentist to tell me if they will let me do a payment plan. Until I know, I dont think the stress will go away.  Once I have an idea of the plan, I will feel better about it. After this, the actual terrifying procedure will seem like nothing.

Things are not as bad as they seem. I cant seem to wrap my head around that though. I'm not dying. I'm not in that much pain. And its just money. I'll have enough eventually. So why cant I just be happy that its going to be a beautiful weekend and I dont have a damn thing planned? I get to relax.

Distressed is Distressing

For me, anyways.

I've been a big fan of blogging diy'ers for some time.  To the point where they inspired me to do a handful of my own projects, most of which turned out wonderfully!

You recall the bedroom makeover:

 

Which lead to the home-made headboard:

The hutch makeover:

And the Ottoman Recover:

I had great fun with each and every one of the projects I've tackled.  And all of them were inspired by other bloggers who DIY on a daily basis.

I don't like change enough to want to be changing things so frequently, which is why all of these projects were so spaced apart, and the reason that this blog will never become 'Musings of a Minnesota DIYer'.  That's just not how I roll.

My vision is turning onto my furniture at home.  Most of it, dressers, the coffee table, etc, is older and hand me downs from siblings when I was 18.  Much of the pieces are solid wood.  I've been seeing the results people are getting with some sanding (okay, a lot of sanding) and some primer and paint or stain.  And I'm getting excited about it. 

However... and I'm probably going to get kicked for saying this, it really bums me out when people purposefully 'distress' a piece after they have spent hours or even days refurbing it.  I guess I am not seeing the magic that others are seeing in finished distressed pieces. To me, they just look older and spookier. And dirty.  Distressing gives them a very dirty look. 

It's distressing.  Get it?  But seriously.

Resist the Finnius

LOOK at this baby!

Yeah.  Resist him.  It's okay, I'll give you a few seconds to try.



Ha, FAILED!  Just like I knew you would.

Oh, I've totally got faith in you.  But just not on this subject. 

Nobody resists Baby Finnius.

It's Different This Time...

I don't expect anybody else to understand my passion for dogs and rescue.  When 'it' found me, it gobbled me up whole and it will never spit me out.  And if it did, I would never be whole again.

But I struggle with it because nobody else understands.  It's most difficult being in love with a man who just doesn't get it either.  Red isn't a dog person, which is unfortunate because it's a constant source of tension between us. 

When I adopted my dogs, there was something there.  There was a feeling about the dog that brought about an understanding that that dog was to be mine.  It's a specific emotion, and I've never had it for any dog other than my own.  Jake, Frankie and Kirby.  Maggie is Red's dog... I didnt have a feeling about her for me.  I had a feeling about her for Red though.  I knew the day they met that she was his.  Yeah, we went through 2 more adoptions and returns before Red finally realized it for himself. 

Jake is my soul. He's the driving force behind the strength of my passion for rescue. He is the reason that I took the path that brought me to where I am today. Without him, I fear where I might be.

Frankie is my heart.  She sprouted something in my heart that is so huge that is sometimes overwhelms. She makes me laugh, she makes me cry.  She's amazing. And she has eyes only for me.  Non-dog people just dont understand the beautiful power in that.

Kirby is my love.  He's a clown and a fool.  He keeps me grounded and slows me down when I push my life too quickly.  And he constantly reminds me of why I love dogs in the first place.  Kirby will not be pushed, and thats what makes me a better dog owner.

This past weekend, Kirby, Frankie and I travelled south to Napervilla, IL for a frisbee comp.  We brought back with us 5 Aussies who were facing death.  Konrad, Babaloo, Finn, Aubrey....

And Smoke.

Smoke is my light.  And he should be mine.  The minute Smokey stepped off the transport on Saturday and I wrapped my arms around him, he was mine.  He didnt leave my side all weekend.  We were bonded instantly.  And last night when I had to say goodbye to him and send him with his foster mom, it was like the light went out.  I've been sad since he left me. I have tears in my eyes when I see the pictures I took of him. 

Smoke is meant to be mine.  I know it.  He knows it.  It breaks my heart that I cannot have him simply because my love isn't a dog person.  I feel blue.

Its so dark without my Smokey Boy.

Booted

I've been booted out of two of my favorite sleepings spots.


Next to Red

And in the hotel beds when travelling for disc dog comps.

All because the dogs have taken over. 

Fine, I'll just sleep on the floor.  Or order a cot from room service. 

Yeesh.

Orange Positives

It's storm season.  No point in going into denial over it.  I've been in 4 tornado warnings so far this year, 2 of which while I was camping. Outside.  In a tent.

That was fun.

But while I can bitch and whine and complain all I want (and I can, because I said I can) there is one upside to these storms....

The beauty that follows is almost impossible.