No Green Thumb Here

I've learned over the years that my thumbs are far from green. As in... Dont ever offer me a plant as a gift. Unless you dont mind seeing it dead the following week. I can't keep things alive.

There are two plants that have managed to survive my lack of attention. The first is an Angel Plant that I purchased for $10 from WalMart about 2 years ago. I dont know how, or why, but she is still live and kickin. Probably because Red sneaks her some water when I'm not looking so as not to make me feel bad. And the second one is a beautiful Orchid plant that my big sister Jennifer gave to me for my most recent birthday. I've had it a little over a month now.. And only one bloom has fallen off of it. The remaining blooms are looking like they did the day I brought it home. And I think thats only for one of two reasons.

1) I usually can remember to water it when I am watering the dog.

Or 2) its sitting in the one single place in the house that my cat cannot reach.

Death is generally the eventual fate of any plant that enters my house. The ones that I want to keep alive. The ones that I really want to have hang around.

So... Lets talk about the outside plants. The ones that I dont want. The ones that I have actually made attempts to murder with my own bare hands.

Folks.. What in God's name is this thing?

This... thing... wont die. It wont. It refuses to go away. Currently, it stands about a foot tall and no matter how heavy that bloom gets, it continues to grow.

This plant is located in the worst of spots.. Right in the center of my lawn. Vern has mown over it for the past 2 summers at my request. I have whacked at it a time or two. Its in the way. But no matter how I try, I cant get rid of it. Its like effing rhubarb. Ack! Mac the Husky dog even loves to poop on it. He backs his bum up to it and shits all over it.

But I gotta admit... The bloom, now that its finally shown its pretty face for the first time in 2 years, IS sort of beautiful.

Sort of.

Next, we have this gawd aweful thing.

This mess of leaves and vines and flowers has grown at an alarmingly quick rate. My bathroom window is located behind that tangle of green and white. Yes, behind it. Which, depending on how you see it, could be an okay thing. But still... This mess has seen the weed whacker more than once, and still shes already 9ft tall. Jerk.
Oh, and I'm pretty sure I'm allergic to it. I have zero allergies, folks. I have good genes probably. But I go anywhere near this thing, my eyes start to burn, my tear ducts go crazy, its a blast. I truely feel for those of you with allergies.

There is one beautiful thing blessing us with her presence. But she only blooms for about 2 weeks out of the year. I love our apple tree.

I wish she would look like this all year around. I would see if Red could plant me a few more, but I really dont like bees all that much.

Off in the back, there are a few tiger Lilies floating up. Tangled in a mess of... Ferns?

Are those ferns?

These, I'll admit, are kind of pretty. The ferns and the lilies I wouldnt mind having floating around my home. But you and me both know what their future would hold if I ever attempted to do that.

I really do love plants and flowers. And I truely envy those with green thumbs and landscaping skills. I would love to have a garden of my own. But it would be a waste. I dont know how to care for fragile, living things.

God help me when we decide to have children.
I might forget to water them.

Love Em

Cheesecake Bars

Cheesecake Bars

Oh yes, you heard me right.. I said Cheesecake!I have spent the last 15 months trying to perfect the ultimate cheesecake. And you know what I've found in those 15 months??Cheesecake is stupid. Yeah, stupid. Its too dadgum hard to make! There are waaaaay too many ways to screw it up. Trust me, I know what I am talking about. I have screwed them all up.So today, I am going to offer the mother of all cheesecake recipes. And if you dont like it, well... Go find a different recipe. Because this one took me 15 damn months to perfect!Plus, well, its not really just cheesecake. These are cheesecake bars. But who needs a cake... Any party or event can be handled just fine with bars.

Supplies:

Crust:
1/3 cup sugar
1/4 tsp salt
1/2 cup butter, softened
1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1/4 cup cocoa powder

Cheesecake:
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 cup half & half
1/2 cup Bailey’s Caramel (or regular if that floats your boat)
2 8-oz packages plain cream cheese, softened (DO NOT USE FAT FREE CREAM CHEESE, PEOPLE! Just trust me)
3 large eggs
1 tbsp all-purpose flour
1 tsp vanilla extract

Preheat your oven to 350F. Lightly grease a 9x13 inch baking pan. Begin by making the crust. In a large or bowl, cream together sugar and butter until its all smooth and fluffy. Sift together flour, cocoa and salt in a small bowl. If you dont have a sifter, then work it quick with a wisk. Working at a low speed, gradually beat in flour mixture. Mixture will be crumbly when all the flour has been incorporated. Press evenly into the greased pan and bake for 15 minutes.While the crust bakes, combine sugar, half & half, Bailey’s and cream cheese in a large bowl, and beat until smooth.. Add in eggs one at a time, waiting until each in incorporated to add the next, followed by flour and vanilla.Pour the filling over the crust when it comes out of the oven. Return pan to oven and bake for 25 minutes or so, until the filling is set (a 9×13 pan might need an extra couple of minutes, so be sure to test that the cheesecake is set by gently jiggling the pan before removing it from the oven).Make sure its cooled completely before you dig in. I know how tough it is, but you gotta wait!When the time finally comes, cut out half of the pan for yourself, and start chowing. Okay dont do that or you'll feel sick. But I dare you to stop at one bar.

Puppies!

Oh, do I have but the most exciting news!

Okay, well, its not THAT exciting in the light of day when you put the magnifying glass on the nitty gritty, and it certainly wont be exciting when I have to tell Red. Red doesn know yet. But he will once he gets a load of his woman's blog entry today!

Oh, you want met to get to the point already? Fine! You people have no patience. You should really work on that. I'm only human...

We have more new additions to our foster family. And yes, you might recall me once posting that we were taking a break. And we are. Sort of. And you might recall my once announcing Red's dislike for puppies. He loves puppies, as in... puppies who are walking down the street with OTHER people. Puppies who dont reside in our home. Puppies who eat and cry and pooh 14x a day in other peoples houses. Those are the kind of puppies that Red can appreciate.
Soooo... Red might be a bit touchy about the fact that Cj and I just pulled eight puppies from a kill shelter. Yup, you heard me. Eight. As in 4 + 4. Eight. As in 4 x 2. Eight as in 8 x 1. Eight (8) Half of 16 puppies. But there is good news to this terrible story. Oh, I realize saving 8 puppy lives isnt horrible. But 8 puppies coming into Red's life is pretty horrible. That would be almost worse than telling him that fishing season is OVER. But dont worry honey... its not. And only 1 puppy is coming to our house. The other seven (7) will be residing with the ever so eager Cj. Bless you Cj! Cj loves puppies. Because they are the only dogs that she is guarenteed not to fall in love with. See, its a big problem for me when foster families fall in love with their foster dogs. Because then they end up adopting their foster dogs. And then I am out one more foster family because that previous but now adopted foster dog took up the only dog room in the house. Whew.

But thats not going to happen again, is it Cj? Is it! Didnt think so..

Okay, stop shouting at me. Stop threatening to close out of the blog. Here are pictures of the puppies already.

First, the pup that I am hopefully keeping. Because i love him already. Meet Doc.

Is he not the sweetest looking puppy you've ever seen?!?! I want him because I'm already in love with his sweet little face. And I am going to go and ask Red right now if I can keep him. Oh wait... Red just bolted out the door. Okay, later then.Anyways... Doc is a Basset Hound mix puppy. Dont ask me what he is mixed with, I dont know. He also has 3 other siblings. Garth, Cooter and Elrod.
See?

But, Emmie, I thought you said there were eight (8)!?! I only see four!
Well, prepare for oogles of cuteness. The eight comes from 2 litters, each made up of 4 pups. The second litter are four 8week old black lab puppies. Meet Rupert, Clyde, Cletus and Shasta.
See?

Okay, bask in the cuteness for a while. I chugged my Mountain Dew too quickly, and so I'm going to go take a nap, but really, I am using the sugars to chase down Red and force Basset puppies on him.

Love Em.

Father's Day

Happy Father's Day, Dad!

Love Em

Dane-olism

Is it really June 11th already? Holy cats! Again, no excuses for my absense, except that I just dont have anything truely interesting to write about these days! I've got the summer fever and I am spending every free second I have outside in the sun. Because guys, I live in southeastern MN and if you happen to watch the news at all, you'll know that we are in flood watches and warnings at the moment. Its been raining and storming non stop for days. Tuesday was the first day that really stayed decent all day!

On a happy note, Merc was adopted last night! Woo!! I already miss my beautiful Dane girl... It was hard this morning trying to cope without her. She was so my baby, she followed me around everywhere. And unlike my own dog, Jake, Merc would actually attempt to help me in any way she could. Ha!

But Merc was adopted by a truely wonderful family. She already had 2 stunning danes who were meticulously well behaved. It was a thrill to see that there are still people out there who take the time to train their dogs. In my rescue field, we dont see it often. This woman has quite the head turning trio now! I'm so jealous! I tried talking her into trading her female dane for Merc, but alas, I am Dane-less now. Oh well... :o) I still have Diesel... (Oh boy) But even he has ditched me for the vet for the next couple of days.

Mac was quite lonely without his buddy, Merc. But hes going to have to make due with me and my crazy pets for company until he finds his forever home.

I see dark clouds surrounding my place of employment and its making me a bit nervous. We havent played volleyball in nearly a month now with all the storms cancelling our games every week. For those of you who dont know me, I live for volleyball. I get through the winter because I know that once I do, volleyball league will start up again. Rain rain go away!
Stay tuned for a new name that photo contest later this week! And the prize is going to be amazing! So come on folks! Participate this time!

I'm off to mope about not having any Danes at home. I'm not kidding, once you have experienced them and gotten to be loved by one, you just cant live without them. Its like alcoholism or drug addiction. This is Dane-olism. Its an addiction. Dont believe me? Go borrow your neighbors Dane for a day (with their permission, folks) and see it you can let them go at the end of the day. Not going to happen.

Halfway through the week!
Love Em

Loaded Mashed Potatos

Loaded Mashed Potatos

Okay, I gotta first say, if you are trying to stick to a Weight Watchers program or something, this recipe will throw you off the charts. Promise. Especially if you are on that pesky Points plan... This recipe has like 2 days worth of points all wrapped up into one little spoonful. I dont know that for fact, but I can tell you its close... If I were on a diet (which I am) I would still totally chow on these potatos. You only live once, right? Hey, I'm just trying to keep it real.

Supplies:

~2 sticks of butter (yeah thats what I said, butter... Dont be afraid)
~10 medium sized baking potatos
~2 cups shredded chedder cheese (or whatever kind of cheese floats your boat)
~1 heaping cup Sour Cream
~1/2 cup real Bacon bits (not the hard, salad kind either. I'm talking the soft kind.. Or you could be efficient and just make some bacon up yourself and tear it into pieces)

Bake the potatos on a cookie sheet for about an hour at 400 degrees. While they are baking, cut the sticks of butter into pats (just slice them about 10x) Throw all of the other ingredients into a giant mixing bowl (and I do mean giant). When the potatoes are done, take them out of the oven, and throw 2 of them into the bowl (careful, they are HOT!) And yes, leave the skins on! If you have a problem with potato skins, by all means, peel them. But dont be a wuss like that. The baked skin gives the final product wonderful flavor and texture! Now grab your handy, dandy potato masher, and start mashing them into the other stuff you threw in earlier. Then grab two more, and continue this process until its all mashed and stirred together. Its important to mash the potatos while they are still hot. This melts and blends everything and just makes it easier. Believe me, I know. Its an aweful pain in the rear if you let them cool.
Now, grab a giant spoon (and yes, I do mean giant!) and plop a heaping giant spoonful of this heavenly dish into a bowl, and sprinkle some extra cheese onto it... And go get a second helping because you want to get as much as you can because once someone else gets a taste of this stuff, it will be gone before you can blink.

Doggy MMA

Well happy June everybody. I know summer doesnt begin until the 21st, but for me, June 1st is always the kickoff for summer. Especially when its on a weekend!! Wooo!!
The dogs can sense my excitement I think because they are really having a hay day in the house this morning. Maggie the German Shorthair went to her new home yesterday. And Vail, the HS dog, was adopted yesterday during their 1st annual "Who Let the Dogs Out?" event. So now its just Merc and Mac fostering here with me at the moment. And let me tell you, these two know how to whoop it up.

Well, see for yourself. But first, let me make it clear, I do NOT in any way condone or support real dog fighting. And while these two can look vicious at times, they are only playing with each other. Each came out of the fake brawl unscathed...

First, the staredown...

Merc's icey blue eyes are enough to make anybody turn and hightail it in the other direction. Plus, you know, shes like 85lbs and growing steadily every day. I wouldnt want to fight this girl. But Mac?? Two hot stick blue eyes arent enough to throw him...

Their eyes meet... This is a scary moment for me.

Mac is also closing in on 70lbs... Big dogs.

And they're up! Oh boy...

Mac: You wanna go you jolly green giant? (This was my nickname in school. Its okay, I'm over it.)
Merc: It's on you bag of Husky scum!

Mac starts off in the lead... Probably going for a triangle...

Oh! But Merc slams him to the ground!

Merc is recovering!!

But she gets flipped! Mac looks like he's about had it with her rookie Dane grapling style. He's about to pounce...

He's got her in a guard! Merc's gotta get out of there if she stands a chance!

Mac moves in for the kill shot...

It's all over for Merc!

And Merc is out cold!!!

Such athletes...

But in all reality, dog fighting is bad. Don't support it. These two are good buds in real life... And they are great for wearing each other down. Tired dogs are good dogs ya know.

Peace out my homies!
Just kidding. Dont know where that came from. I havent said 'homies' since the 7th grade.

Love Em