Furious Beauty

Nature is one of the most beautiful of life's angles.

It is also is one of the most dangerous.

It can be heartwrenchingly gorgeous and furiously wicked, all at the same time.

It is probably where the word awesome came from.

We barely missed a very dangerous storm last night. Photos and the whole story will come this evening.

But here is a preview of what's to come.

Wedding Bells

I want to marry my fiance already. We have been engaged now for over 3 years. Over three years. Upon his proposal, we briefly discussed the timing of the wedding and we both agreed that 2 years out would be perfect. At the time, Red and I had been together for 2 years. 2 years of engagement would ensure that we were making the right decision, etc etc etc.

Let me explain something to you. When a girl is first engaged, of course thoughts of a gorgeous white dress and flowers and a huge wedding cake and handfuls of confetti are the first ones to cross her mind. As soon as she says 'yes' she is taken on a whirlwind of romance and beauty and love. Couples who do it traditionally are married within 9 to 12 months of their engagement. Thus that whirlwind of the excitement of getting married will carry them through the arrangements and stress until the day finally comes.

In other words: It keeps the momentum going steadily.

And while deep inside I wanted to just ride that wind for a year, I knew that realistically, doing the right thing and waiting 2 years was the best path to take.

It also deflated my wind. There has been no momentum. When you know that there won't be a wedding for 2 years, you really can't plan. Anything. At all.

Time passed. 1 year. I should have started planning. And in fact, we did start planning. We even set a date and paid for the reception venue. But that was axed as soon as we found out that Red's cousin already had that same day for his own wedding. It was another pin to my balloon. 2 years passed. Still nothing. Now its been 3 years and 1 month.

This weekend, as I previously wrote, I spent the time cleaning the house and watching fairy tale romance movies. Then I watched a Bridezilla's marathon. It really ramped up my drive to get married. (Except I don't understand why the men in Bridezilla's marry the women in Bridezilla's. Those girls are so mean to their men! It was unbelieveable!)

I'm going to marry Red, dammit. And it's going to be romantic! We already act like we've been married forever. We know each other better then we know ourselves. And I'm going to wear a pretty white dress.

But I need something to start blowing the wind. Whirlwind, where are you?

How the hell do you plan a wedding?

I'm Gonna Hurt the Motorcycles

It's a lovely Saturday afternoon. Early afternoon. The sun is shining, it's not too hot out. I am making a last ditch attempt to really scrub out the bedroom and throw away or donate clothes that I won't wear anymore.

Thank you, genes, for my packrat mentality.

I have the windows open to air out a week's worth of raining, stuffed up days.

My chick flicks have been playing all morning. I love Julia Robert's movies. Currently, My Best Friend's Wedding is on. And during my favorite part of the movie that I have seen no less than 48 times, something happens. Something that has gotten my blood boiling since it's now the 14th time it's happened this this morning.

The flippin' packs of motorcycles keep flying by my house!

SHUT UP! You don't need to rev your engines right in front of my home. You don't need to rattle by in groups of 35. What you do need is to find a new road to ride on, or respect the fact that you are still in town when you ride past my house! A road that is currently under construction and a danger to you if you don't knock it ooooooooff!

Yes, I do feel better. Thank you for asking.

Wyoming Sun

Ha! You all thought that maybe I have been missing for 9 days because I went to Wyoming, didn't you! Wrong.

I've been trying to write a book.
Many of you have read what I have written so far, which isn't much, considering that I've been working on it for almost a year now. One chapter? Come on, Emily.

All my life I have had a passion for literature and english composition. I have started many, many books. I have never finished a one. I get bored with it very easily. Like just now? I logged into Webs to try and add a little bit to Wyoming Sun. Read what I had most recently written, and was immediately slammed with writer's block. My strengths lie in creating characters and a beginning story line. My weakness is that I don't start out with a general story already in my head. I haven't the foggiest idea where I want Brooks and Kelly to end up.

All authors are different. Some go into their pieces with a full blown story mapped out in their heads, and they don't come up for air until they have hammered out an entire rough draft. Others will start out with nothing and just write what comes, and when they are finished, a marvelous story has emerged.

I am beginning to understand my problem a little bit. I think. My conclusion lately is that while I love to write and create, I think I enjoy other author's writings so much that in my head, I think I can write. But it's just not there. I can be pretty accurately described as scatterbrained. No doubt. I am easily distracted from anything I happen to start working on. I've never been an over achiever, nor can I say that I always finish what I start. Because I don't.

All that said, I'm not giving up on Wyoming Sun. I am a little embarassed that I have not updated it since January. Whoops. But I will continue until I make something of it. I hope.

This blog is easy to write in. I don't get writer's block when it comes to my blog, because I feel like this is just me writing to my friends and my family. Real life is easy to write about. Fiction is a whole new ball game.

I'll keep working on it. Ideas are welcome! Where would YOU like to see Brooks and Kelly go?

Barking

Oh man, I totally forgot to talk about the barking.

How on earth could I forget?

These 2 new dogs, Shotzy and Willie... They each have a set of pipes on them. Pipes that would shame even the biggest of famous singing voices. And they like to use them. Often.

Barking is an issue that I don't handle as well as I handle everything else. The diarrhea on the beige carpet? That is skittles compared to the barking. The digging at my freshly painted doors? I'd rather repaint the door than listen to barking. Trying to jump out the screen window? Clearing the contents of my coffee table with whipping tails? Trying to eat my cat? Dog squabbles and dogs getting loose and dogs chasing my cat and dogs chewing up everything in site???!!! I'll take any of it, any day, over a barking dog.

I just can't handle the barking. I don't tolerate it well, at all.

Because it's hard to think up the list right now, here are work, where it's peaceful and without barking, I might miss some. But bear with me.

This is the short list of emotions that I range through during a barking session:

Frustration.
Desperation.
Rage.
Sadness.
Defeat.
Denial.
Anger.
Disgust.
Disappointment.
Exasperation.
Torment.
Suffering.
Dismay.
Depression.
Nervousness.
Tension.
Alarm.
Fear.
Mortification.
Loneliness.
Dejection.
Despair.
Regret.
Misery.
Gloom.
Unhappiness.
Grief.
Hostility.
Agony.
Loathing.
Aggrivation.
Annoyence.
Grumpiness.
Anguish.
Dread.
Worry.
STRESS!
STRESS!
STRESS!

Don't believe me? Then you just don't get it! I experience every single one of these emotions during the course of these dog's bark sessions. I envision locking myself in a sound proof box and throwing away the key. Red gets upset, which gets me upset, which makes the dogs upset, which in turn causes more barking.

Barking is not something that I am prepared to handle.

So to put two of these barking dogs in my home and deal with them has become something of an emotional war for me.

But don't worry. I have all 10 seasons of 'Friends' on DVD. And I have lots of cold beer in the fridge. And when Red kicks me out, I am sure that I will find a couch somewhere to sleep on. Until we get kicked out of there too because of the dogs barking.

So do you understand now? Do you? DO YOU?!?!

Canine Madness

If you haven't already guessed it, dogs are the reason that I have been mia the past week. Dogs are always to blame.

Shotzy and Willie are both black lab mixes who came from a shelter where they were kept in little crates for nearly a month, with only minimal potty breaks outside. So they arrived with some issues. Issues that I first thought I might not be able to deal with long. But we have worked through it and we've come to a happy medium. I hope.

Shotzy is a well mannered Black Lab, probably mixed with Pit or something similar.

She's a good dog. It's a battle of wills between us sometimes. But she's coming along. Shotzy thinks that she needs to eat Sylvester the cat. But I don't agree with her a bit.

Will is a small Black Lab. I dont know if he's mixed. But he really is just a shy sweetheart.



He will crawl into your lap and stay there for as long as you let him.

The first week with new dogs is always the most stressful. This is the period where I spend most of the time seriously doubting my capabilities as a dog rescuer. It's true. The main question at the front of my brain is 'What the hell did I get myself into?' And then I start wondering what I would be doing right then if I hadn't taken on these particular dogs. The answer is always calming... I would be lazily taking care of my house, sipping on a cold beer. Watching one of my favorite weekend TV shows, like Flip this House, or It's Me or The Dog, or The Lion King would be playing on some movie channel. Then I am always jerked back into reality when my new foster dog whizzes past me, taking me out by the knees, in an attempt to corner my cat and eat him. And while I scramble to get control of the situation, the other dog goes to another corner and has diarrhea all over my beige carpet. What kind of dog rescuer has beige carpet anyways? The kind of dog rescuer who can't talk her fiance into putting down pretty laminet wood floors, thats who. And while I'm trying to clean up the mess of that 2nd dog, the first dog starts wrestling with my dogs and body slams herself into the end table, knocking over everything that has managed to survive my years in dog rescue. So then I scramble to finish cleaning up dog 2's mess, move onto clean up the new mess made by dog 1, and then dog 2 tries jumping out the window.

It's just a never ending battle folks. There is nothing easy about dog rescue.

But just when I want to quit, that stupid, tearjerker ASPCA commercial comes on and its all I can do not to break down into tears. I know why I do what I do. It's just that it really wears on a person. It really does. But just when I think that I can't handle it anymore, everybody takes a chill pill and all of the dogs find a comfey spot in the house and take a nap. Everything is peaceful.. And all is well with my world again.

I could still use that cold beer though...

Monday Rant

Subject: My Life

I have so many reasons to be happy. My life is not really something that should ever qualify for a rant day. But I can't help it. And this is piddley stuff compared to others... But ohhhh!

I got 2 new dogs. Foster dogs. Who won't stop barking. Will not. Bark bark bark bark bark bark bark....
I jammed my big toe yesterday, and last night it started radiating up my foot, into my ankle and shin.
This morning, I tripped over excited dogs and flew into a wall, slamming the side of my right hand into the corner. I hope its not fractured. Its swelled way up and is very painful. But not the passing out pain the last time I broke a bone. It sure makes typing and everything else that requires use of my dominent hand very painful.
The one dog has diarrhea.
The other dog wants to kill my cat.
My own dogs don't feel like behaving because the other 2 are getting away with everything.
Did I bite off more than I can chew?
Always
But the sun is shining. There are no barking dogs here at work. My hand is on ice. And I am going to go eat some string cheese now. And maybe pop a Relax Now. Or 3.

Happy Monday, friends.
Stay tuned tomorrow when I explain where I have been for the last week. It's a doozy.