Over It

I'm back, for the most part. I've managed to push away most of the debilitating stresses of panic off my shoulders and resume normal life.

But now you know. This is how I react to things that threaten my well being. My only defense machanism is throw a blanket of denial over myself and hide from the world.

How does that even help, anyways?

My life is good. It's great, in fact. I dont have anything to complain about.

These are the things that make me cherish what's really good in my life.  The things that make me happy and the things that truely matter to me.

When I lose control of my emotions, I seek comfort and escape from anything around me.  Movies. Coffee. Friends and family. My dogs. A good book.

October 3rd, I'd messaged to my facebook that I was genuinely happy right at that moment. There was not a single thing wrong with my life. Less than 72 hours later, my life falls apart (in my head it did, at least). 

How does that happen?

I keep trying to go back to October 3rd. The way I felt at that moment.

It's coming back.

We're going out of town this weekend.  A mini vacation.  I'm fortunate to have multiple sisters who live on lakes.  Red and I are taking what is potentially the last truely nice weekend and spending it on the lake.

It won't be quiet though. We're bringing all of the dogs with.  All five dogs. Including the blue psycho.  Blue tornado?  Blue hurricane?  Two Socks? 

TommyBoy. 

Total we will have 7 dogs for the weekend. 

Talk about stressors.