Barking

Oh man, I totally forgot to talk about the barking.

How on earth could I forget?

These 2 new dogs, Shotzy and Willie... They each have a set of pipes on them. Pipes that would shame even the biggest of famous singing voices. And they like to use them. Often.

Barking is an issue that I don't handle as well as I handle everything else. The diarrhea on the beige carpet? That is skittles compared to the barking. The digging at my freshly painted doors? I'd rather repaint the door than listen to barking. Trying to jump out the screen window? Clearing the contents of my coffee table with whipping tails? Trying to eat my cat? Dog squabbles and dogs getting loose and dogs chasing my cat and dogs chewing up everything in site???!!! I'll take any of it, any day, over a barking dog.

I just can't handle the barking. I don't tolerate it well, at all.

Because it's hard to think up the list right now, here are work, where it's peaceful and without barking, I might miss some. But bear with me.

This is the short list of emotions that I range through during a barking session:

Frustration.
Desperation.
Rage.
Sadness.
Defeat.
Denial.
Anger.
Disgust.
Disappointment.
Exasperation.
Torment.
Suffering.
Dismay.
Depression.
Nervousness.
Tension.
Alarm.
Fear.
Mortification.
Loneliness.
Dejection.
Despair.
Regret.
Misery.
Gloom.
Unhappiness.
Grief.
Hostility.
Agony.
Loathing.
Aggrivation.
Annoyence.
Grumpiness.
Anguish.
Dread.
Worry.
STRESS!
STRESS!
STRESS!

Don't believe me? Then you just don't get it! I experience every single one of these emotions during the course of these dog's bark sessions. I envision locking myself in a sound proof box and throwing away the key. Red gets upset, which gets me upset, which makes the dogs upset, which in turn causes more barking.

Barking is not something that I am prepared to handle.

So to put two of these barking dogs in my home and deal with them has become something of an emotional war for me.

But don't worry. I have all 10 seasons of 'Friends' on DVD. And I have lots of cold beer in the fridge. And when Red kicks me out, I am sure that I will find a couch somewhere to sleep on. Until we get kicked out of there too because of the dogs barking.

So do you understand now? Do you? DO YOU?!?!