No Green Thumb Here

I've learned over the years that my thumbs are far from green. As in... Dont ever offer me a plant as a gift. Unless you dont mind seeing it dead the following week. I can't keep things alive.

There are two plants that have managed to survive my lack of attention. The first is an Angel Plant that I purchased for $10 from WalMart about 2 years ago. I dont know how, or why, but she is still live and kickin. Probably because Red sneaks her some water when I'm not looking so as not to make me feel bad. And the second one is a beautiful Orchid plant that my big sister Jennifer gave to me for my most recent birthday. I've had it a little over a month now.. And only one bloom has fallen off of it. The remaining blooms are looking like they did the day I brought it home. And I think thats only for one of two reasons.

1) I usually can remember to water it when I am watering the dog.

Or 2) its sitting in the one single place in the house that my cat cannot reach.

Death is generally the eventual fate of any plant that enters my house. The ones that I want to keep alive. The ones that I really want to have hang around.

So... Lets talk about the outside plants. The ones that I dont want. The ones that I have actually made attempts to murder with my own bare hands.

Folks.. What in God's name is this thing?

This... thing... wont die. It wont. It refuses to go away. Currently, it stands about a foot tall and no matter how heavy that bloom gets, it continues to grow.

This plant is located in the worst of spots.. Right in the center of my lawn. Vern has mown over it for the past 2 summers at my request. I have whacked at it a time or two. Its in the way. But no matter how I try, I cant get rid of it. Its like effing rhubarb. Ack! Mac the Husky dog even loves to poop on it. He backs his bum up to it and shits all over it.

But I gotta admit... The bloom, now that its finally shown its pretty face for the first time in 2 years, IS sort of beautiful.

Sort of.

Next, we have this gawd aweful thing.

This mess of leaves and vines and flowers has grown at an alarmingly quick rate. My bathroom window is located behind that tangle of green and white. Yes, behind it. Which, depending on how you see it, could be an okay thing. But still... This mess has seen the weed whacker more than once, and still shes already 9ft tall. Jerk.
Oh, and I'm pretty sure I'm allergic to it. I have zero allergies, folks. I have good genes probably. But I go anywhere near this thing, my eyes start to burn, my tear ducts go crazy, its a blast. I truely feel for those of you with allergies.

There is one beautiful thing blessing us with her presence. But she only blooms for about 2 weeks out of the year. I love our apple tree.

I wish she would look like this all year around. I would see if Red could plant me a few more, but I really dont like bees all that much.

Off in the back, there are a few tiger Lilies floating up. Tangled in a mess of... Ferns?

Are those ferns?

These, I'll admit, are kind of pretty. The ferns and the lilies I wouldnt mind having floating around my home. But you and me both know what their future would hold if I ever attempted to do that.

I really do love plants and flowers. And I truely envy those with green thumbs and landscaping skills. I would love to have a garden of my own. But it would be a waste. I dont know how to care for fragile, living things.

God help me when we decide to have children.
I might forget to water them.

Love Em